Everything you always wanted to know about me

On her MySpace blog, MJ Pearson recently featured one of those fun surveys that occasionally pop up in mailboxes everywhere. She suggested appropriating it and so I did:

1.You and the president go out to dinner – who pays?
The taxpayers do.

2. You suddenly have to flee the country and adopt an alias.
How suddenly? Just kidding. I would have no clue. I love my name. I don’t want an alias. Hmm … I’ll have to think about that.

3. Pick one state in the U.S. to get rid of permanently.
Beats me.

4. You wake up as the opposite gender: what’s the one thing you wanna do?
Right after I wake up? Pee and brush my teeth.

5. Luke Skywalker or Han Solo?
I’m drawn to Luke’s character, but I really like Harrison Ford.

6. Toy you always wanted but never got as a child?
Could a pony be considered a toy?

7. Top three celebrities you wanna do.
Hmm … jeez, I’m still busy thinking about the alias I’m going to adopt.

8. What’s an automatic deal breaker in a potential significant other?

9. What is the last movie you saw that actually scared you?
The Grudge. Oh, oh, Jason Behr. SWEET. I’d do him.

10. Stupidest thing you’ve ever said out loud?
I’ve said plenty of stupid things, I’m sure, but I’m having trouble with recall …

11. You’re sentenced to death and it’s the morning of your execution, what do you want to eat?Believe it or not, but I have thought about this before and decided there was probably no way I’d be able to eat and/or taste anything, so why bother? Having said that, I’d ask for ice cream or some other treat.

12. What’s something that most people do that you’ve never done?
Pray in church?

13. Before you die you want to go to…?
Oh, I had a list. I wrote it in High School and one of my old classmates found it and sent it to me. It said: USA, Japan, Hawaii, Virgin Islands. Haven’t been to the Virgin Islands yet.

14. Something you’d really like to do but probably won’t ever be able to do?
Act in a movie, receive Oscar nomination. Adapt or write screenplay, receive Oscar nomination. Btw, I think I’d be able to, as in I could manage to pull it off. I just won’t get the chance to test that theory.

15. A wild animal you’d like to have as a pet?
Amur Leopard

16. A drug you’ll never try?
Chances are, I won’t try any of the illegal drugs out there. Am curious, though, I admit.

17. If you were an animal what would you be?
An otter.

18. If you had to marry someone you knew at the age of 12 who would it be?
Good lord. I was such a tomboy at 12, I had no interest in marrying anyone. That lasted for some time. I think I might have had one date before the age of 18.

19. What’s something most people don’t know about you?
I was molested once.

20. First celebrity crush?
George Michael, then of Wham!

21. What’s a weapon to suit your personality, habits and abilities?
Verbal abuse. (I’m keeping this one, MJ. It’s just such a great answer.)

22. Favorite cereal growing up as a kid?
I think all we had was oatmeal. I can’t remember anything else. Oh, and I ate it cold and uncooked.

23. Favorite breakfast bread style (pancakes, waffles, toast etc…)?

24. Favorite parody movie?

25. Worst way to die?

26. Grossest injury you’ve ever seen?
Can’t say that I’ve ever seen a gross injury.

27. The worst injury you’ve ever had?
Hmm … broken wrist, broken ankle, horse bite (which caused the most creative lie to be told to my parents) … none of them are that bad really.

28. Favorite thing about Thanksgiving?
I don’t care for Thanksgiving.

29. Sport you hate the most?
I don’t care to watch many sports, but I don’t hate them. I find golf and tennis the most boring to watch, does that count?

30. What city in the U.S. do you want to visit?
JA Konrath just finished a 500-bookstore book tour. He visited cities all over the US. I’m aspiring to do the same some day. I don’t care what cities they are as long as they have a bookstore 🙂

31. What’s something you think would be sweet to know everything about?
Parenting. Grammar. Punctuation.

32. Favorite Actor/Actress?
oh, I’m still trying to figure out what three actors I’d do

33. What’s one phrase you absolutely detest?
That’s the way it’s always been.

34. What makes an awesome party?
the guests

35. What’s your material obsession?
Books. Not sure if they could be considered an obsession, but I sure do have a ton of them.

36. What’s something most would consider an insult but you enjoy having said about you?
You’re evil. Sneaky bitch.

37. Favorite kind of dog?

38. Favorite carnival food (everyone has one)?
Cotton candy

39. Morning or night person?
Night owl. Unfortunately, though, I have kids in school and that requires me to get up in the mornings

40. Worst drunken/drugged up habit?
I think I might have been drunk once or twice (okay, three times) and that’s not enough to create a habit.

41. Weirdest ebay purchase?
One of these days I’m going to buy a dildo. Just kidding. Or maybe not!?

42. Favorite food to eat when you’re wasted?
Okay, so the three times I’ve been drunk, I can’t recall there being food involved.

43. It’s Saturday at 3am, where are you?
Is this Saturday, 3 am, that’s really Sunday already? Occasionally I can be found on the computer, furiously typing.

44. Who’s your favorite friend to go out with?
If she lived closer and we actually socialized in person, Laurie.

45. Worst job you’ve ever had?
Selling knifes for Cutco.

46. What’s something your friends make fun of you for?
Shouldn’t my friends answer that?

47. What’s the oddest thing you’ve ever done in a car?
Change my clothes. So much for odd.

48. Book you could read repeatedly?
Most of the ones I own/buy.

49. What was your favorite cartoon as a kid?
Die Sendung mit der Maus (remember, I grew up in Germany).

50. What was your best Halloween costume ever?
I think I might have been a cowgirl a few times.

Thanks, MJ. That was fun.

PS. Still no alias, but I figured out some celebrities I’d do if I wasn’t married and we’d be stuck in the same elevator: The Rock. Hugh Jackman. Jake Gyllenhaall. I probably wouldn’t push Orlando Bloom out the elevator either. Bradley Cooper would be welcome to stop by.

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